For Ryane... Get Well Soon!!!

Truly God works in mysteroius ways...

Last Thursday night, I had a pretty short conversation with Ryane... and damn... I missed him... the line was cut off and I did not bother to call again, I went off to sleep... it will be another days of chasing rainbows and butterflies... I am not really sure what's God's plan for us... but I already have surrendered him to God.

I was on my home from Bagiou that Saturday night when Jern texted me that something happened to Ryane. I regret that I did not call him back last Thursday night. I was thinking that was supposed to be our last conversation had it been God did not give him another chance. Hay!!! I was so devastated and don't know where to get my strength when Jern told me Ryane had an accident, and he is unconscious. Since I was in the bus, I cannot cry my heart out. You know that moment in your life when you just want to fly and be with that someone.. someone you truly care and longed to be with. That was my moment and I wanted to see him... be with him... But all I could do is hold on and enthrust Ryane to God.

I was so down and God lifted me up. My heart's desire at that moment is for Ryane to hear me pleading... for him to come back. I was crying the whole night begging God... I once asked Him to nourish Ryane's faith and truly he answered it. Deep down in me is rejoicing at that time because I know God is really working in us. But I have to very honest, I was shattered and would not want to continue my CLP. I almost would want to let go... but God has been so good that he comforted me... consoled me. I am so blessed that I have this faith and truly God is true to His promise. Ryane is now conscious and is now recuperating. Thanks to those who helped me pray for his recovery.

I was with Jern yesterday, we attended mass. It was fun co'z being with him is like being with Ryane. I really hope Jern would realize what he wants and his personal legend.

TO Ryane:

Today, today I bet my life
You have no idea
What I feel inside
Don't, be afraid to let it show
For you'll never know If you let it hide

I love you You love me
Take this gift and don't ask why
Cause if you will let me
I'll take what scares you Hold it deep inside
And if you ask me why I'm with you
And why I'll never Leave
Love will show you everything

One day
When youth is just a memory
I know you'll be standing right next to me

I love you
You love me
Take this gift and don't ask why
Cause if you will let me
I'll take what scares you Hold it deep inside
And if you ask me why I'm with you
And why I'll never Leave

My love will show you everything
My love will show you everything
My love will show you everything
My love will show you everything

Truly everything works for good to those who love the LOrd...

God bless. Get well soon!!!

R E N G

It's been days passed since Reng left and I cannot get over the feeling still...

Pot and I bid farewell to her last Saturday night. We went to see her before she left for Dubai... ganito pala un... We have not been together... as in really together lately... actually ever since Ali got into my life... but we knew we are always here for each other... I always know that... from the time I was so nothing and nobody... to the time I almost have everything... then to the time everything was taken from me... she was with me... in physical... in emotional... in her prayers...

We have ups and downs... We certainly have our differences but I know inspite of it all... she will always embrace me... whatever it takes!!!

Can this get any worst? Well, when she broke the news that she is leaving... I know, everything will change... alam mo yung feeling na andyan lang sya lagi... whew!!! hirap!!! Then all of the sudden she is gone... the selfish side of me... wanted to hold her... co'z life is never the same without her... but i know... she deserves it and I know in time, will be together again... I am truly happy seeing her thousand miles away from me because I know God has a perfect plan for her... i missed her and will always miss her...

God bless Reng... I'm just here... Keep on praying... love you!!!

my wedding song...

*** dreamy eyed ***

If I believed in paradise
I'd swear I must be there
I'd swear I must be there right now with you
If I believed in miracles
I'd know that one was happening to me
But if I don't believe in paradise
Then miracles aren't real
Then someone tell me what is this I feel
I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
But with you I can't deny
if I believed in paradise
I'd swear I'm there
If I believed in magic spells
It all would be so clear
'Cause magic spells must have brought you here
If I could see the future
I'd see if you and I were meant to be
But I dont know any magic
And tomorrow's just a dream
But something in this fantasy is real
I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
I wanna believe it's love this time
I wanna believe my heart's not telling me a lie
But with you I cant deny
If I believed in paradise
I'd swear I'm there
I'm there
I'm there
If I believed.

for my mom...

I am not really in good shape right now... still struggling with my finances... people i am dealing with... who seems so nice yet kept their own prejudice on me... hay... I am indeed that in GOD's perfection HE is merciful. I will be going home in Negros tomorrow... just to attend to my mother who is in the hospital right now. Well, please pray for her fast recovery and thanks to those who have been praying... I will be inaccessible at this time... you may text me in case you need anything... got a lot of things to tell you but i need to go now. God bless... ingatz!!!

just a note...

... CROSSROADS... to be continued....

I would want to write my wonderful experience last weekend but I know... God wanted me to go home now... rest and preserve my body for another long day tomorrow... I went to the office at 4 am... I need to go home now... since I need to be back at 2 am... with all these... I GIVE BACK all the GLORY and HONOR to GOD... My Prince of PEace...

You are holy (You are holy)You are mighty (You are mighty)You are worthy (You are worthy)Worthy of praise (Worthy of praise)I will follow (I will follow)I will listen (I will listen)I will love You (I will love you)All of my days (All of my days)I will sing to
(You are Lord of Lords)And worship
(You are King of kings)The King who
(You are mighty God)Is worthy
(Lord of everything)I will love and
(You're Emannuel)Adore You
(You're the Great I am)And I will bow down
(You're my Prince of peace)before You
(Who is the Lamb)I will sing to
(You're my living God)And worship
(You're my saving grace)The King who
(You will reign forever)Is worthy
(You are ancient of days)I will love and
(You are alpha, omega)Adore You
(beginning and end)And I will bow down
(You're my Savior, Messiah)Before You
(Redeemer and friend)
You're my Prince of PeaceAnd I will live my life for You(Repeat above 2x)

-A Forever Kind of Love-

Yesterday night's talk was indeed so powerful that indeed it could move mountains... WOW!!! The mountains in me... arrogance, pride, anger, resentment, unworthiness and all that crap in me melted and all I can do is run and seek HIS love... I was consumed with my personal struggles and that I forgot to that there is a life and sufferings outside my world and that whatever I am feeling right now is not a peculiar thing to linger upon... everyone has its own fare share of life's struggles and difficulties and it might be even worst that what I am going through right now. God has been so good to me... and even to you... Today I let go of my plans... to discern HIS WILL. This is not an easy decision but I know... this is because I LOVE HIM so and that unconditional love I forever longed for... could only be found in HIM... and it is only upon HIM I could found true happiness and acceptance.

"Lord today and onwards... I am yours... direct me to your pleasing will and I will give up everything for you."

not everyday is a sunny day...

Well, kinda sad... there are things in life I would want to question... but all I can do right now... is cry and seek HIM... I would want to run to my friends... but all I can do is pray... and seek hihs GLORY... need to sing my heart out... Life is UNFAIR but GOD is FAIR... and I know in time... I'll understand all the things that I am going through right now...

Better Days
Dianne Reeves

Silver gray hair
Neatly combed in place
There were four generations
Of love on her face
She was so wise
No surprise passed her eyes
She's seen it all
I was a child, oh
About three or four
All day I'd ask questions
At night I'd ask more
But whenever, she never
Would ever turn me away
No, no oh woah
I'd say how can I be sure
What is right or wrong
And why does
What I want
Always take so long
Please tell me
Where does God live
And why won't
He talk to me
I'd say Grandma
What is love
Will I ever find out
Why are we so poor
What is life about
I wanna know the answers
Before I fall off to sleep
Woah ho woah ho
She saw the smile
As she tucked me in
Then she pulled up that
Old rockin' chair once again
But tonight she was
Slightly, remarkably
Different somehow
Slowly she rocked
Lookin' half asleep
Grandma yawned
As she stretched
Then she started to speak
What she told me
Would mould me and hold me
Together inside
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
She said all the things you ask
You will know someday
But you have got to live
In a patient way
God put us here by fate
And by fate that means
Better days
She said, child we are all
Moons in the dark of night
Ain't no mornings gonna come
Till the time is right
Can't get no better days lest
You make it through the night
You gotta make it
Through the night
Yes you do
You can't get to no
Better days
Unless you make it
Through the night (baby)
Oh ho, you will see
Those better days
But you gotta be patient
Be patient, oh baby
Be patient
Later that year at
The turn of spring
Heaven sent angels down
And gave Grandma her wings
Now, she's flyin'
And slidin', and glidin'
In better days
And although
I'm all grown up
I still get confused
I stumble through the dark
Getting bumped and bruised
When night gets in my way
I could still hear
My Grandma say
I can hear her say
I can hear her sayin'
You can't get to no
Better days
Unless you make it
Through the night (baby)
Oh ho, you will see
Those better days
But you gotta be patient
Child, do you hear me, yeah
Well, well, well, well
You can't get to no, no
Better days
Unless you make it
You got to make it
You got to make it
Through the night
Oh Grandma, oh Grandma
Do you see me now, lady
Oh oh oh oh oh

a sweeter song after the rope burned...

Well, I am just a bit excited for everyone to see my new office... hope to get myself motivated... with the flower that beams smile on me... whew!!! This is all for the GLORY of GOD!!!

Well, I was attending a series of seminar right now... of which I opted not to disclose it yet until I am finish with it... asking why? That I need to figure it out... Well, the talk last night was indeed powerful and it cuts me deep!!! CHILL!!! I was in this crowd alone... I seated in the second row and nobody was on my side... not that there aren't plenty of people in there, but indeed the place was over swallowing of people overwhelmed with their desires and passion and I am alone in my row... did I feel bad??? Nah!!! Honestly, I did enjoy it... after the session... I also went home alone. WOW!!! I left the place with questions but I did not search the answers because I know in time I'll definitely find it. It also leaves me wondering why I am there. Well, to be honest... I wanted to get away with my busy life at work and do things that matters... though at the back of me, the reason has something to do with the emotional turmoil I am confronting right now. Well, who could blame me...? I am still a woman...

The night ended with one realization... I am pretty better off alone... and I love it... me in there... walking with all these strangers staring at me... and never did they realize what I've been through and what I am feeling at this moment... I am totally new in their eyes... I am singing a sweeter song now... and that empty vacuum in me... I know it will slowly be filled and I couldn’t ask for more... I LOVE HIM SO and I WILL PURSUE HIM!!!

...wake up... wake up... it's a beautiful day...

My weekend was pretty relaxing… most of the time i just spent it at home reading... though I went out last Saturday night with my dearest best friends: Erick and Sam. We’d watch CASANOVA... it is a good date movie… but compared to PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, I’ll go for the second one… We went home kind of late since we still spent the rest of the night drinking. And guess what? I had my first TEQUILLA SUNRISE… and definitely the first time I tried to drink hard liquors… hehehe!!! Did I like it? Nah!!! I even hate the feeling after… so what’s good about it? I don’t know really… so I guess I’ll be back with my CALI and ICED TEA night… hehehe!!! I did have fun… especially that it’s been sometime since I went out with Erick… and I have to admit… I missed my dear friend… hay!!! And I know that even if we don’t see each other that often as before… we will always be there for each other… especially in bad times… like Saturday night… I know it was quite a comfort seeing him and I know I don’t have to worry in so many things since having him around makes my day... hay… in the words’ of Erick, “hindi nya alam kung anong mawawala sa kanya… so huwag mo na syang kausapin hangga’t hindi sya mauna. Matuto sya…”

Well, I know it will never be that easy but I know I have to do it… so good bye to him for now… this is what I hate about crossing the bridge… but I can’t blame him though… I decided to… so here I am feeling all the emptiness and longing and he is not there to conquer it…

By the way, I spent last night crying:)

"YOU ARE EVERYTHING I WRITE AGAINST..."

Memoirs of Geisha

To those who have not watch it... please do... You may check the link above...

The story really reminds me of the girl I once knew... full of courage and was never afraid to pursue her dreams regardless of what... as her line goes... "I can walk on waters... because I know where the stones are..." Well, where is she now? I'll tell you if she comes back... for now I do missed her... so much...

Well, famous line is..."every step I have taken has been to bring myself closer to you..."

What’s the reason for ashes on Ash Wednesday?

I got this article from this site: http://www.kencollins.com/question-02.htm

As you know, Jesus retreated into the wilderness and fasted for forty days to prepare for his ministry. It was for Him a time of contemplation, reflection, and preparation. By observing Lent, most Christians join Jesus on His retreat.
Lent consists of the forty days before Easter. In the western Church, we skip over the Sundays when we count the days of Lent, because Sunday is always the joyful celebration of the Resurrection. Therefore, the first day of Lent in the western Church is always a Wednesday.
Biblical societies relied very heavily on wood fires for heating and cooking, which meant that keeping ashes under control was a major housekeeping task. Then as now, if a person was preoccupied with something serious, they didn’t always tend to the housekeeping—it’s the least of their concerns. Imagine that there is a death in the family. A friend stopping by to pay their respects might gently say, “Did you know you have ashes on your face?”
So ashes became a sign of remorse, repentance, and mourning. Today someone might wear a black armband to signify that they are in mourning; back then people put ashes on their foreheads.
You can find biblical examples of this in 2 Samuel 13:19, Esther 4:1-3, Job 42:6, and Jeremiah 6:26. During Lent, ancient Christians mourned their sins and repented of them, so it was appropriate for them to show their sincerity by having ashes on their foreheads. The custom has persisted in the church as secular society has changed around us.
It is most appropriate on Ash Wednesday, when we begin a period of sober reflection, self-examination, and spiritual redirection.
Traditionally, the ashes for the Ash Wednesday service come from burning the palm fronds from the previous year’s Palm Sunday celebration. If you burn the palm fronds yourself, don’t add any other ingredient—just burn the ashes plain. Add a little oil to the ashes so that they will stick to people’s foreheads. Of course, it is easier to purchase them from a religious supply house. Don’t overestimate how much you need! It is amazing how far a small amount of ashes will go!
Some people only celebrate the happy times in Jesus’ life: Palm Sunday, Easter Sunday, and Christmas. But I think as true friends, we should also watch and pray with Him on Maundy Thursday, stand by Him at the cross on Good Friday, and retreat with Him into the wilderness during Lent. You can read more about Jesus’ fair-weather friends.
About fasting: Today the word ‘fasting’ means a total abstention from all food. In the historic Church, it means a disciplined diet so that your animal appetites become a sort of spiritual snooze alarm. You can read information about fasting.
You get more information about Lent. You can also read Honest to God for an explanation of what we accomplish by observing Lent.

back to blogging... and more of me...

Wow... It took me more than two months... and you bet... I have a lot to write...
Well, happy New Year... this is indeed my first official post for the year. hehehe!!!

Last year was indeed a roller-coaster ride of emotions. I laugh a lot… cried a lot… loose weight a little… gain weight more… hehehe!!! Lose a friend… gain a new one... been in almost both extremes and the best part of it… I am fallen’ in love…

Well, had a wonderful start of the year. No more baggage and finally I could say I have moved on and accept my defeat and enjoy the blessings that come with it. I spend my new year in Negros at my Dad’s house… with my cousins, nieces and nephews, and relatives. It was fun… we went to the beach… I just relaxed and enjoy its tranquility… I have never been sooo relaxed in my whole life.

After my broke up with Ali and after me picking up the pieces again, I know I could finally say this… I have forgiven them… and I hope they will forgive me. Truly, it was a good relationship that ended bad and after all that has been said and done… I still would want to thank Ali for always letting me learned life’s best lessons… and I know Ali will always be a part of me. He was a great friend... a good provider and a shoulder to cry on... I know what we have gone through taught us a lot and it will surely help us become a better partner and individual. And I hope we will love our partner more than ever, alllowing ourselves to truly experience the very true essence of finding one's true love... I know in time... all wounds will be healed... Thanks Ali... Good luck and Stay in love...

This is indeed a wonderful year for me. I have been really blessed with true good friends. I will always be grateful for:

RA, Sam and Erick. I know, we don’t go out that often now since we are all busy with our lives. Sam in his struggles whether to leave for Dubai or not; RA with his new relationship; and Erick with his wedding.

I have not seen or talk with Cat, Pot and Reng for so long, but I know they're just there for me… and I missed them.

David on the other hand is still there cheering my day.

To my mobsters family, and specially to Jaja… hay!!! Who would have thought I could find friendship in this very quite and eccentric person… but I am indeed lucky and blessed she have come to trusts me and supports me… letting me see the other side when sometimes I am lost… hehehe!!!

Of course, to Kuya Alwell, Ate Vicks, Kuya Uly, Kuya Yugs and of course Kuya Bes, who still celebrate special occasions with me… and still support me in my struggles, always willing to accept me in my moods, defeats and triumphs...

And lastly, I am indeed blessed to know Jern… I never realized we could be really good friends… and that he would share his thoughts and his beings with me… trusting me with his deep-dark secrets… running to me when he is in need. It is indeed very overwhelming…

Now can you see how happy and blessed I am right now?And Wait there’s more:

I am indeed enjoying my relationship with GOD and I am proud to say that I am on the process of knowing HIM more… developing my relationship with HIM… giving up my worldly thoughts to follow HIM. Opps… don’t get me wrong… I am not there yet, but on the process… but one thing is certain, I will give up everything for HIM because that’s how much I love HIM.

And I am in love…
Well, who would have thought…? I have loved him all this time… and I know I wasn’t brave enough to admit it then since I am not sure if the feeling is the same. But I have crossed the bridge… whether he’ll be at the end of the bridge waiting for me or not… I love him not because he loves me… whatever is in store for us… I know, in time it’ll blossom… just like the missing piece…

I am still continuing praying for him and for us… as my old line goes… “You know what’s the worst thing in life, WAITING!!!” but now… it’s even worst... “I don’t mind waiting and experience all the worst in life… with HIM!!!” Luxury in life is indeed a bonus… but having him is more than that… and we know in God’s time… for now, we are both nourishing our relationship with GOD.

Truly, “everything works for good to those who LOVE the LORD”.

"can you hear the laughter.. can you hear the music..."

This is indeed my best christmas... happiest ever... a little sad but everything will be settled in time...

Thanks to Erick and his family for accomodating Sam and Me...

Life is indeed full of surprises... when you thought life can be this lonesome and sad... someone would be there to cheer you up... and I know inspite of how things could go wrong... I know... I am truly blessed to have known so wonderful people around me. I am thankful indeed to have the opportunity of knowing such wonderful family.... thanks Nanay and Tatay...

We just ate and watched DVD's... we chatted until 5 in the morning... I had so much fun... much more when you see their gift... WOW!!! never been luckier... hehehe!!! I know I am sooooo blessed!!! then we watched movie in the afternoon... hay!!! ang saya!!!

Well, when everything is fine... and you thought you have your best day... someone will give you their best blow... well, I have to admit that I felt sad when Erick broke the news but I am still wishing the best for them... I am very willing to sacrifice my own personal happiness just so everything will work... well, I know... Erick is such a good friend... and whoever this man's gonna settle with is indeed lucky because when HE says "I am yours..." He means it.... and I know that at the end of it... he will remain where I left him... he will always be my friend (*teary-eyed*)... hay!!! Well, best wishes and good luck friend... this too will past!!!

Thanks Sam and Erick... it was indeed a merry christmas!!! love yah!!!

when you thought everything is gone...

I never got to verbalize this... but life would never be the same with out these people... and I know... THANK YOU would not be enough...

Wondering who are they? Well, my three best buddies at work and even outside of it... that's SAM, RA and ERICK...

Having them around you would twist your world around... would give you their best blows... and then lift you up to where you should be... they are not the type of person you'll thoughT you can be mushy with but trust me... their sweet... without meaning to... hehehe!!! They exists differently... but they have one thing in common... aside from the fact that I am special to the three of them... hehee!!! walang kokontra... I know I am, in their own special way... and I thank them for that... they are all passionate in what they're doing... they will stick with you when life is so tough... and when your wounded... they will help you get through it... and i am indeed blessed they are my friends...

To my Honey Sam: My Movie buddy... You may not see it but movie time without you is never complete... and thanks for the innocent way that you care... sa mga banat mong pa naive... for trusting me whenever your doubtful... as you always are... hehehe!!! I hope in time... you'll realize whatever makes you happy... and whether it will be in Dubai... or here... dito lang kami... dito lang ako...

To my Baby RA: My Boyfriend in Good times... hehehe!!! Thanks for always letting me see things objectively and even if it means hurting me... we may not talk as often as we did (sam, erick and me), i may not share with you eveything that I feel inside but I know and always been sure you'll be there for me... ikaw man ang pinakamayabang kong kaibigan... i love you for being so... I hope... whatever you have right now... will last and for real... I am happy for you and her...

To my friend ERICK: My Boyfriend in Bad TImes... kasi ginulo ko ang mundo nya... hehehe!!! Kidding aside... I have to be honest that among the four of us, we are the closest... well, we laugh a lot... talk a lot... even eat a lot!!! and we can always talk things comfortably with each other... whether it's about life... love... triumphs... and even defeats... Thanks for always being there friend in my worst time... God Bless you and Lally... stay in love forever...

TO SAM, RA and ERICK: True friends speak the truth in love... Thanks for being ONE!!! God bless... love yah!!!

White Christmas...

All of these pictures were taken last December 18... my first christmas with CONVERGYS... Had fun... indeed!!! Can't you see it??? hay!!! Never been blissful... thanks to everyone...

"Ba happy... life is too short to be unhappy. Smile."

It's not goodbye... but see you later...

This was our send off party to Ms. Penny... Convergys, employee #1... and to her we owe a lot... it was indeed a very sentimental farewell... well, every goodbye is indeed sad... even if our hearts wanted her to stay... we know that she is indeed happy with her decision... and I do admire her composure and gracefulness in facing all her defeats... for sometime we'd want to question her strength... on how far she can fight for us... but bravery is not just about fighting just to prove something... but sometimes it's all about keeping your ground... holding on to it... silently doing what's best for everyone... sometimes... or most of the times... brave people never have to fight... it is eassier to deal with anger and resentment... but it takes more courage holding your ground and just get on with it... keeping silent and wait for the right time... for everything will come in HIS own time... .

Now I realized that in every crossroads... you really have to choose... in the words of Ms Penny... "don't be afraid... for there is no bad decision as long as you decide for it... for at the end of the day... LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT..."

To Ms. Penny, Thanks for all the support... for the lessons I have learned... even in a hard way... WOW!!! That's makes me more stronger and mature right now. We will always look up to you... not just a boss... but as a friend... a sister... and more... a mother... God bless... We are happy for you... You will always be CONVERGYS' Number 1 EMPLOYEE...

Will surely miss you...

For David...

See this pic??? Well you should! This is about being extra sexy, extra raunchy, extra cute and extra crazy. All these for one extraordinary person who makes my day! All for David!

You might not notice but Joanne and I were actually sick that night but we can't afford not to attend the surprise we had been preparing only for David.

It was indeed a success and kudos to them for being so creative: Eden, Rain, Joanne Yang and Joanne Parras (Hope I spelled their names right).

I have never done this in my entire life, not the surprise thingy but dressing up in "not the usual me" - modelling and all! Whew!

This is kinda emabarrassing but for DAVID I will do it again. I will do whatever it takes just to see this man happy! HE TRULY DESERVES IT and more!

Dave, thanks for all the support, for considering me as one of your friend, for trusting me with your deep-dark secrets (don't worry i won't tell) heehehe!!! Thanks for all your patience!

Most of all, thanks for styling me and making me modelled your dangling earrings. Thank you! Thank you!

Truly true friends speak the truth in love, thanks for being one! I Love You Friend!

More happiness on your birthday and the holidays to come!

some things never change...

I have a lot to write... hehehe!!!

Last weekend been the craziest weekend ever. As in the craziest yet the happiest...

Well, had a wonderful birthday bash at Gerrys' Jupiter... Thanks to those who came and celebrated our birthdays... Lhen, Milette, Roms, Eden, Sharon, Ms. M, Nonie, Bang, Sam, Eric, Ms. Cha, Erick and Kuya Bes... Just merely looking at these people and how happy they are on that night gave me such contentment within that I know I made the best decision in my life... Well, every decision is not easy... believe me... hehehe!!! And really now I realize that I am Blessed!!!

Well, some things never change... and that's Kuya Cias... hehehe!!! He arrived last Saturday all the way from New Zealancd, and mind you... he seem to be the same person we looked up to then... same old JEANS and SHIRT... hehehe!!! But I think he is more in love now. Looking at his eyes with all excitement and kilig seeing ate LIrs.. WOW!!! You'll be blessed seeing them and even if how painful I've been through... still I'd wish to fall in love again... well, it will come!!! it will come at HIS OWN Good time...

Anyway, to KUYA CIAS AND ATE LIRS... Best Wishes and Congratulations... I never got to verbalize this but thanks Ate Lirs for all the love and support... and for letting me feel beautiful everyday!!! Truly, you deserve each other... God bless... Best Wishes... a cheers to you on your wedding day...

"when was the last time you did something for the first time...?"

originally posted last: December 9, 2005:

I took a glimpsed on the new Starbucks Planner, to justify the need that I have to complete the 21 stickers (meaning 21 starbucks coffee/beverages)... so I can get one. Mind you it's not for sale... it's for free when you complete the required stickers. Well, I only need six... and looking forward to my new 2006 Planner...yahoo!!! thanks to Erick for helping me complete... Anyway, that's where I got my subject...

When was the last time I did something for the first time???... I am fixated... to many things... I hate change!!! I don't want to get out from the situation I know I am already comfortable... but certainly things happen... and you just have to face it... and this what I love about life... chances... fate... when you thought everything is going well and then all of the sudden... blagag!!! But you learned... and believe me it cuts me deep...(thanks ate ja for the line)

When was the last time I did something for the first time???... well, this morning... I ordered for HOT CAFE MOCHA at starbucks... I've waited and got one Cafe latte... whew!!! I got frustrated... knowing me... I would have to go back to the counter and have it change... but I did not... at that same moment, I decided to try it... did i enjoy the coffee? nah... but I felt surprisingly happy about trying it... it may not taste good to me... certainly, I woudn't know, not until this morning... :D

Life is indeed about choices... and staying happy even if you are defeated...

For the first time in so many years I enjoy being with myself alone... and I love it...
See yah!!!

it's all about me...

originally posted last December 6:

it's all about me... and this is my day...

a brand new me? nah... I'm just back... but loosen a little... hahaha!!!

For the past years I have been counting days 'till my birthday... I had my twirks and moods in between... i had my birthday blues... this year? don't know... worst than blues... but never been happier...

Well to start with, I am enjoying single blessedness... hahahha!!! yeah, If you happened to see me two weeks ago, I know, you'll be very disappointed... because people don't usually see the "bruised side of me"... that was then... but the pain is too painful to bear that i surrender all my defenses and admit my defeat and let go... hahaha.... for truly all endings are also beginnings... and thanks to Morrie by the way...

Well, after everything that has said and done... life can be summed up in three words... "IT GOES ON..." Am i Happy now? yeah... and it's within...

Honestly, when I was on my way home last night, I was quite sentimental about it... gosh... it's my birthday and no plans... no expectations... still configuring how to finish all my back logs from a "two-week-out-of-the-blue-moments"... hay!!! hay... glad that I am back... and suddenly i missed the feeling that someone is waiting for the clock to tick at 12 midnight to greet me... hay!!! wishful thinking.... and i am wishing... well, it was a wish come true... HE DID!!! hahaha!!!

The day is almost over and still no plans, that I almost would want to have my "pamper myself day" but i find it too pathetic... spending the day alone... and yes indeed this day turned out to be a special one... thanks to Yuga, Kuya Alwell, Ate Vicky, Ate Titing, and Ryane for celebrating my birthday with me...

at first i thought this was a different celebration but hey i remembered... this how I used to celebrate my birthdays then... surprises from friends... well that was so many years ago... and I know... i missed them... hay... had fun really!!! but one person is missing... hay!!! I missed Kuya Gen there since he can't come to attend some family errands... but this person is so special to me... he is indeed a blessing... so he would remain... my kuya bes...

Thanks to those who remembered...

Most of all thanks to Ryane...

By the way, he made this day extra special!!! Well, never really known someone who will conspire everything just to make things happen... that's Ryane... I'll tell you more of his surprises next blog... aside from the call to greet me... he sent me flowers... asking why it is a big deal... because this person is somewhere on the other side of the world... and not even sure if I really existed.. had given so much effort in knowing me and letting me realize that " if worst comes to worst, leave the car and find my way back home...and that's faith in action...". I may gone through a lot these days and if I recover sooner than expected, it's not because he is there... but simply because... he always reminds me of God's unconditional love... and to have faith that when you submit everything to God, he'll take care...

Thanks Rye, I still believe in answered prayer... seeing you... growing in HIS love and enjoying your relationship with HIM... I am so proud of you... thanks and can't wait to see you...

It was really a HAPPY AND BLESSED BIRTHDAY...
GOd bless...