Monday, August 07, 2006

GROUNDED

Today is August 7, 2006. Wow it’s been a while since the last time I had worked… Am I missing something here? Well, honestly, it was not easy… my friends literally knows how much I value my job and the fact that I am not used of asking help from someone else and truly this is not so me… well, I am glad that God made me the woman He wanted me to be. I still do worry sometimes but at the end of the day I know I am well taken care of… I know this cup will be over soon… He is truly a God of impossibilities and I know He has all the power to change things… but I know he wants me back… Can things get worst than losing a relationship you have cared for the past years… losing a dear friend (not for a bad reason, but sometimes we need to be separated from people dear to us)… losing a promotion… losing my savings… and worst… losing my job… Am I well enough to face the world again? Well, yeah!!! Because after I lose everything, I gained one true friend who will never leave me, no matter what… well, HE MADE ME GROUNDED… on my toes up and well… and whatever it is… I will answer His call… I will serve Him all the more…

I was reading a blog of a person I knew so long time ago… a one dear friend then… and I know he would want to forget all of me, well… I hope he’ll realize I was sorry for what happened and truly I am happy wherever he is right now. Reading all through it, it made me smile knowing he is so in love right now. Darn… people might not believe it, but I am truly prayin’ that finally he’ll be forever happy for the choices he made in the past. I have to be honest that there are times I’d wished we could be friends again and we will tell each other’s view on things… I am looking forward to that day he’ll finally walk down the aisle… and be with that someone no matter what… I know he will… *kilig*

Well… I have my life back and I am back… to service… but after I had a talked with an elder of the community I know I need to make a decision… For true love waits and I know I am taking the step towards another complicated relationship… and since we are both having a different life right now truly away from each other… undecided and uncertain what’s next… and since there is no such things as “mutual understanding” and “long distance relationship” and since I am quite confused where things going… and I know I have to make things clear before I drown myself with the thought that there is “us” at the end of it. This is pretty tough and I know pretty not easy for me to do… I am praying that God will give me wisdom to do what’s right. I have been praying for this person and truly letting go of him is much harder and painful. It matters to me really that we share the same faith… I used to claim he is my God’s gift, but if God has better plans for us apart then I’ll submit to his will. God is the only person who knows my future and will embrace me with my past. I am hoping waiting…

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